time for some serious re-evaluation.

real amazing how i manage to balance my life so well, tucking the downs away from other's perception.

thankfully for today's activities. or else i'll just break down.
seriously, this is bothering me so badly,




i think i'll go watch desperate housewives to lighten up.

btw, i think i sing weirdly. mic reveals all flaws. dang.

-----------------

why do i always see things that people don't.
feel things that people don't.

and the downside is, i cannot tell anyone!
cause they either won't believe me or think i'm overreacting.
and besides, it's against my conscience.

(btw, that wasn't referring to any form of apparition sightings or anything)

i hate these kind of deep dark secrets.

Assumptions, what everyone makes everyday.

They assume that they know you well, but they don't.
They assume that you like them alot, but you don't.
They assume that there's nothing wrong, but you have issues.
They assume that you would do them favours, even if you loathe the fact that they left out the p's & q's
They assume that you are mean, but you have your reasons.
They assume that you are easy to bully, even to the extent of manipulating.
They assume that you are in the group, but you actually feel casted aside.
They assume that you owe them something, but actually they are the ones in huge gratitude debts.
They assume that everything can be taken for granted, but you actually secretly want to shout at them.

I hate assumptions.
I hate bad mannered people.
I hate people who take things for granted.

My life feels like jiu dian feng yun.
people scheming against each other, and hypocritical situations.
and no, this isn't emo.
I CANNOT TAKE IT ANY LONGER.

now i know why i made that decision.

issues? i have issues. everybody has. do you?

okay, kinda bored. even though i have a full physics paper ahead of me, which i have no idea of whether it has to be completed or not, plus a half done chemistry paper with all the organic chemistry left hanging undone.

so help me.



holiday's been sorta ...... bland. if you get what i mean.
well, of course that's excluding the outings, meetups, cruising and yeah.
i don't know, i just feel that this holiday isn't the progressive type. maybe academic? or otherwise.
ohdear. time to pull up those socks.




anyway, just wanted to mention that kaii has a babypink labtop!

i'm not a huge fan of pink, but, seeing a pink labtop right before my eyes is not an everyday sorta thing you know.
do you think labtop comes in shades of yellow? ha ha swell!

been watching too much tv nowadays.
desperate housewives. ha ha.
shall go watch an ep before i turn in.
the night is young, wooooooooo.

back from aqua!
better than last week's , but can't say pretty much about the food though.
oh, and the few uncivilised ones.

i seriously have had it with the queue-jumpers.
i mean, like hey, i have no qualms about jumping a queue IF your friends are already in it in the first place. but to jump a queue with no one you know at all? that's a whole lot of garbage.
my entire lot of relatives were queuing together at the customs thing, and to think that there was this couple who cut right in between our family!

oh and there was this woman who stole our table at the restaurant claiming that she was there first (and that she was taking food when we 'assumed' tables) , when it was obviously not true!!! (since tables were on a assignment basis!)
HUMBUGGGGG.

chiiiiillllll. at least i'm back in my comfort zone. (oh no, here we go again)
evil lurks in the society where you least know of it.

goodnight. !
(ok dang, need to cut on the random part)

after hearing what my parents said, my hopes&dreams just came crashing down on me instantly.
i know it isn't easy, there's living examples and statistics to prove the dropout rate.
but every kid needs a goal to strive for, right?

it's so hard, especially since if your parents are successful and your sibling is just excelling all the way. it's the pressure from the family that pushes me, but they don't know about it. pressure from the society, family, relatives, friends. i don't want to disappoint my family, i don't want to be inferior, especially towards myself, my conscience. i don't want to grow up a loser, a goodfornothing that doesn't make changes, or impact the world.
i want to be successful.
i need to be someone.

now it's like i'm lost in the midst of my thoughts.
so where will we be in 10 years down the road?
will i be who i want to be? will i be someone? or just a nobody.

as so, dreams you say?
what dreams?

ohkay, a little late but nevertheless,

8JUNE: RHYTHM XXI
Rhythm was a blast, although we had to endure the sweltering heat and glare from the lights in the hall. Best concert I felt I ever had.
Regrets about not taking a complete part photo with LWWO! ):

Till then.

--------------------------------------------

Okay, on a sidenote, before boarding the ship that day, I went to buy Archiecomics. (damn cheap they sell 4 for 10bucks!)
As I was happily choosing books, this boy half my age (around 7 i presume) came over and snatched my Jughead digest.
niceeee, I'm getting way too old for Archies, man.

Anyway, onboard Libra was rather boring. Nothmuch to do. and the food was bland.
Oh and we managed to borrow table tennis bats to play with.
BUT. the deposit was a whooping $100.00!!!!!
(in case you didn't know, the deposit is there such that in any case if one should not return the borrowed item, the deposit will be forfeited. it's like paying for the item instead)
yes, but i'm sure that those two bats + pingpong ball didn't account to a $100.00 right?
and it wasn't of great quality either. but we still borrowed them.
boy, what a stressful game of table tennis.
(constantly worrying about killing the ball and forfeiting $100.00)

--------------------------------------------

Just had a really bad dinner.
I was eating halfway when I bit my tongue. and it bled.
Then somehow after eating the spring onions, I tasted something really really repulsive. Couldn't get the taste out of my mouth no matter how hard I try. almost threw up so I didn't eat anymore. So I got scolded for not being appreciative. Sorry!

Well, like my taste buds screwed up after a nasty bite?
:/

still trying to drown that taste with a can of coke.
dang.

--------------------------------------------

What you don't know, doesn't hurt you.

last 24 hours!
really depressing, 4 years over just like that.
no matter what, it's not going to be the same anymore.
ALL THE BEST FOR TOMORROW, TO ANYONE READING THIS. :D

goodbyes. that's besides the trauma of making decisions.
i hate.

my stomach's bad. again.so off i go,

PS: i'm swearing off MACS for a week after how they screwed up my order today. pffffffft.

darn shitty night,

but thank god for the day.

started out really really great, but it just sort of ended badly.
i guess you can't have your cake and eat it then,
since everything has to be so horrendously balanced.

now what am i supposed to do,
the silence is deafening, it's killing my ears.

praying that my worst fears wont come true!

-----

next week's full blast ahead!!!
and then after next friday, it's all over.

time passes too quickly! fours year just like that. fancy that.
life's too short, make the best out of it. i guess.

-----

now back to the deafening silence.
hope a good night sleep resolves all.

十 multiplied by 十 =?